Tonight I was looking at the TV guide than
wow I went back in time, than I remembered
the first year before I went to school in
the fall. I wrote 3 comic books complete
with pictures and captions.
The man character was "Nolan Von Derek". He spoke like my relatives did from the northern Minnesota/Canada area, in a Swedish/Norwegian/American voice.
"If it wasn't tirty miles to town, I tink Id walk".
I gave it up that Christmas when I got a guitar. As I remember it was kinda 1965 funny for a 12 year old boy in a nut house.
Why do I remembered this, I do not know why. Things like this just come up when words, smells, sounds, pictures confront me.
I feel that if I do not write it down, it may never come back to me again.
The man character was "Nolan Von Derek". He spoke like my relatives did from the northern Minnesota/Canada area, in a Swedish/Norwegian/American voice.
"If it wasn't tirty miles to town, I tink Id walk".
I gave it up that Christmas when I got a guitar. As I remember it was kinda 1965 funny for a 12 year old boy in a nut house.
Why do I remembered this, I do not know why. Things like this just come up when words, smells, sounds, pictures confront me.
I feel that if I do not write it down, it may never come back to me again.
---------------------------------------------------------
ronl that was a cool thing to do, write 3
comic books.I can remember sitting for hours
reading comic books. I miss them, they were
fun.
One thing comes to mind, African Americans.
All I can remember is, 4 African American Boys, and 1 Girl, in my 5+ years at Traverse City State Hospital.
I never seen a African American Staff member. Some Doctors were from foreign country's, but no African American Staff or Doctors. I would guess it had to do with the 1960's and the movement.
All I can remember is, 4 African American Boys, and 1 Girl, in my 5+ years at Traverse City State Hospital.
I never seen a African American Staff member. Some Doctors were from foreign country's, but no African American Staff or Doctors. I would guess it had to do with the 1960's and the movement.
A little more comes to my mind,
Room 44:
Once while living in my favorite room, the one behind the staff closet and down the short hall at coat closet. Room 44. It was the most quiet room and it had a heater in it, a cast iron radiator.
I think mfarnam was sharing this room with me than, it was a 4 person room facing the courtyard and hall 20. Hall 20 the place to be.
This room was where we put banana peelings on the radiator to dry and we smoked them thinking we would get high. (remember the song "Mello Yellow") You ask where did we get the rolling papers, well back than for a nickel you could get a small bag of bull duram tobacco with a pack of rolling papers. It was common thing to roll your own ciggeretts back in the 1965 era.
Weegie Board:
I remember someone got a weegie board, and we were in room 44, note I never believed in this stuff, still don't, and since I was older I played a joke on the younger kids, by force I made the board spell out danger for those who played with this board. I remember a few kids not sleeping very well.
Tho this is only a tid bit stuff like this comes to mind.
Room 44:
Once while living in my favorite room, the one behind the staff closet and down the short hall at coat closet. Room 44. It was the most quiet room and it had a heater in it, a cast iron radiator.
I think mfarnam was sharing this room with me than, it was a 4 person room facing the courtyard and hall 20. Hall 20 the place to be.
This room was where we put banana peelings on the radiator to dry and we smoked them thinking we would get high. (remember the song "Mello Yellow") You ask where did we get the rolling papers, well back than for a nickel you could get a small bag of bull duram tobacco with a pack of rolling papers. It was common thing to roll your own ciggeretts back in the 1965 era.
Weegie Board:
I remember someone got a weegie board, and we were in room 44, note I never believed in this stuff, still don't, and since I was older I played a joke on the younger kids, by force I made the board spell out danger for those who played with this board. I remember a few kids not sleeping very well.
Tho this is only a tid bit stuff like this comes to mind.
I see no one has posted any more memories of
their stay at TCSH. I wish you the best of
luck in what ever you choose to do in life.
You made it through the hard part. You can
only go up from here. okie
Is funny just how the mind works, I guess I
really never gave it much thought.
But, When I am angry I can remember the bad things, and when I am sad I remember the sad things, when I am happy I remember the good things.
When I am neutral I remember the everyday things.
.
The Power Plant:
The power/Steam plant was a coal fired unit across the street from Hall-18.
All summer long trains would haul in coal, and these big bull dozer's would pile it as high as the building and longer than the plant itself. They would cover it with big tarps. By spring the pile would be almost gone.
It was always noisy, and when the wind would blow in our direction it was real noisy and this black smoke would roll out of the tall smoke stacks. I remember the smell of coal. I recall a few times when the smoke would fall to the ground and I had problems seeing through it.
The plant made the steam to heat the water and keep us warm as well as the electricity we used. I will never forget the noise.
But, When I am angry I can remember the bad things, and when I am sad I remember the sad things, when I am happy I remember the good things.
When I am neutral I remember the everyday things.
.
The Power Plant:
The power/Steam plant was a coal fired unit across the street from Hall-18.
All summer long trains would haul in coal, and these big bull dozer's would pile it as high as the building and longer than the plant itself. They would cover it with big tarps. By spring the pile would be almost gone.
It was always noisy, and when the wind would blow in our direction it was real noisy and this black smoke would roll out of the tall smoke stacks. I remember the smell of coal. I recall a few times when the smoke would fall to the ground and I had problems seeing through it.
The plant made the steam to heat the water and keep us warm as well as the electricity we used. I will never forget the noise.
For many weeks now, all I have had are
pleasant thoughts about TCSH and my stay
there. I am also wondering if perhaps I am
somehow blocking something. The other side
of me is saying "I always hated it there"
.
This was not a summer camp!
.
Clothes:
I remember having 3 shirts, 3 pants, 2 sweaters, and 1 pair of shoes. The hospital had a big shoe repair shop run my patients. I also never had tennis shoes, there was 2 tennis courts at the bandstand, and we always played, but never had tennis shoes, always them leather shoes with leather soles.
The hospital supplied you with what ever clothing you needed.
.
.
This was not a summer camp!
.
Clothes:
I remember having 3 shirts, 3 pants, 2 sweaters, and 1 pair of shoes. The hospital had a big shoe repair shop run my patients. I also never had tennis shoes, there was 2 tennis courts at the bandstand, and we always played, but never had tennis shoes, always them leather shoes with leather soles.
The hospital supplied you with what ever clothing you needed.
.
Lost
connections
After taking a pause and then reading more of Ronls new post, many memories have surfaced but most of them were like old pieces of a puzzle without a connection or there was a lost connection I'm sure that many of you can picture some past event in head,you know it happened, but you just can't quite remember where it took place.
At one time, Ronl was one of them. His name has been in my head since I "broke out" of TCSH.(I'll explain"breaking out" later) But through the years it kind of settled down, but was never completely forgotten. Just last year after I was contacted by "Heidi Johnson"(God Bless her Soul) I was ask if I remembered Ron L******, I didn't have to stop and think, I immediately knew who Ron was and where I knew him from.
After the time we spent together in TCSH, Ron has a special place in my heart.
Another lost connection:
As Ronl mentioned, many sounds, smells/oders,thouhts and visions bring back memories of TCSH.
Until about a year ago, every time I heard the sound of small propeller plane, TCSH would flash to my mined. For years and even into my adulthood, I couldn't never fiqure out why this occured, I mentioned this to Heidi Johnson l;ast year and she told me that there was a small airport near TCSH and that some of the pilots would intentionally fly low over tcsh so people could take aerial shots of the grounds.
This was just one of the memories that's been reconnected. I have many more but it's 2:40am and I have to work tomorrow. I'll pick up where I let off tomorrow.
After taking a pause and then reading more of Ronls new post, many memories have surfaced but most of them were like old pieces of a puzzle without a connection or there was a lost connection I'm sure that many of you can picture some past event in head,you know it happened, but you just can't quite remember where it took place.
At one time, Ronl was one of them. His name has been in my head since I "broke out" of TCSH.(I'll explain"breaking out" later) But through the years it kind of settled down, but was never completely forgotten. Just last year after I was contacted by "Heidi Johnson"(God Bless her Soul) I was ask if I remembered Ron L******, I didn't have to stop and think, I immediately knew who Ron was and where I knew him from.
After the time we spent together in TCSH, Ron has a special place in my heart.
Another lost connection:
As Ronl mentioned, many sounds, smells/oders,thouhts and visions bring back memories of TCSH.
Until about a year ago, every time I heard the sound of small propeller plane, TCSH would flash to my mined. For years and even into my adulthood, I couldn't never fiqure out why this occured, I mentioned this to Heidi Johnson l;ast year and she told me that there was a small airport near TCSH and that some of the pilots would intentionally fly low over tcsh so people could take aerial shots of the grounds.
This was just one of the memories that's been reconnected. I have many more but it's 2:40am and I have to work tomorrow. I'll pick up where I let off tomorrow.
Hello again Mike,
Heidi Johnson I never knew, Tho I was once in contact with 1 other person who was writing a book and after several emails, I found out nothing was in it for me, lol, This person wanted me to write their book and they would keep the profits. This was a turn off for me. It was hard going back there and as you stated it is a bunch of puzzle pieces and their placement isn't absolute. Heck sometimes as I write this I don't know just what year it is that I am writing about, the thoughts are real fuzzy. Some of the events have taken place not once but many times, like a broken record.
One thing always comes to mind is "Dead Reckoning" The ability to know North, South, East and West and your placement. TCSH was not placed on a N,S,E or W, but cockeyed, and I never knew which direction where home really was. I do remember you running away often Mike, and sometimes I had a big laugh over it. I was once punished because I was in charge of looking after you and you took a hike. Yeah things were not fair by no means.
The law was as Dr. Thill made it.
I often wonder if Dr. Thill really was aware how many people hated him, This was hate at the highest level. I wonder if he ever said he was sorry and ask for forgiveness before he passed on.
I have done many searches of Dr. Thill on the internet and come up with a big zero, the only reference I found is written by me. It seem he had dropped of the earth after 1969 when he was replaced/fired.
Heidi Johnson I never knew, Tho I was once in contact with 1 other person who was writing a book and after several emails, I found out nothing was in it for me, lol, This person wanted me to write their book and they would keep the profits. This was a turn off for me. It was hard going back there and as you stated it is a bunch of puzzle pieces and their placement isn't absolute. Heck sometimes as I write this I don't know just what year it is that I am writing about, the thoughts are real fuzzy. Some of the events have taken place not once but many times, like a broken record.
One thing always comes to mind is "Dead Reckoning" The ability to know North, South, East and West and your placement. TCSH was not placed on a N,S,E or W, but cockeyed, and I never knew which direction where home really was. I do remember you running away often Mike, and sometimes I had a big laugh over it. I was once punished because I was in charge of looking after you and you took a hike. Yeah things were not fair by no means.
The law was as Dr. Thill made it.
I often wonder if Dr. Thill really was aware how many people hated him, This was hate at the highest level. I wonder if he ever said he was sorry and ask for forgiveness before he passed on.
I have done many searches of Dr. Thill on the internet and come up with a big zero, the only reference I found is written by me. It seem he had dropped of the earth after 1969 when he was replaced/fired.
The one thing good that has come of this
posting is the ability to talk open and
freely about TCSH.
Last night I went over to an old friends house. Fr. Todd, we have been best friends for over 25 years and he is aware of my life. Now we can talk freely about the bad dreams I once had. It is no longer hush hush. He has passed along this link to others who have had bad times in their life and they are now doing what we have done here and confront these bad dreams/times in public. This is who I am,..... I am me.... I AM.
Last night I went over to an old friends house. Fr. Todd, we have been best friends for over 25 years and he is aware of my life. Now we can talk freely about the bad dreams I once had. It is no longer hush hush. He has passed along this link to others who have had bad times in their life and they are now doing what we have done here and confront these bad dreams/times in public. This is who I am,..... I am me.... I AM.
Real quick:
I remember lowering a string from the caged porch down to the "old mens" floor just below us, Ronl correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was Hall 12 or 16 .
Anyway, sometimes they would tie a rolled cigarette onto it and give it a jerk or some just hollard "OK!". The way we lite it was, we found a small peice of steel wool, wrapped toilet around it with a small part of steel wool sticking out, then we would go to one of the few exposed outlets, stick the steel wool in, when it sparked the toilet paper would catch on fire
Even though I didn't do it very often, I remember that clearly. Maybe because it was fun and I don't remember ever getting caught.
I remember lowering a string from the caged porch down to the "old mens" floor just below us, Ronl correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was Hall 12 or 16 .
Anyway, sometimes they would tie a rolled cigarette onto it and give it a jerk or some just hollard "OK!". The way we lite it was, we found a small peice of steel wool, wrapped toilet around it with a small part of steel wool sticking out, then we would go to one of the few exposed outlets, stick the steel wool in, when it sparked the toilet paper would catch on fire
Even though I didn't do it very often, I remember that clearly. Maybe because it was fun and I don't remember ever getting caught.
ronl wrote:A little more comes to my mind,
Room 44:
Once while living in my favorite room, the one behind the staff closet and down the short hall at coat closet. Room 44. It was the most quiet room and it had a heater in it, a cast iron radiator.
I think mfarnam was sharing this room with me than, it was a 4 person room facing the courtyard and hall 20. Hall 20 the place to be.
This room was where we put banana peelings on the radiator to dry and we smoked them thinking we would get high. (remember the song "Mello Yellow") You ask where did we get the rolling papers, well back than for a nickel you could get a small bag of bull duram tobacco with a pack of rolling papers. It was common thing to roll your own ciggeretts back in the 1965 era.
Weegie Board:
I remember someone got a weegie board, and we were in room 44, note I never believed in this stuff, still don't, and since I was older I played a joke on the younger kids, by force I made the board spell out danger for those who played with this board. I remember a few kids not sleeping very well.
Tho this is only a tid bit stuff like this comes to mind.
I am amazed you can remember as much as you
do. I am sure they had you so drugged, you
didn't know if you were comig or going. Must
have been a scary place for two young boys.
I can barely remember a lot of my
childhood,and I had a good one, growing up
in the 50's. Thanks for taking the time to
share your memories. The good and bad. WE
all have them, only yours were under far
different circumstances.
You both make mention of the 'outside cages'
or porches. I can't help but wonder why
these hold such bad memories for you. Just
wondering.
okie wrote:You both make mention of the 'outside cages' or porches. I can't help but wonder why these hold such bad memories for you. Just wondering.
Okie.........(off topic)if your username indicates that your in/from Oklahoma,(tornado alley ) Congats, because that's where I reside.
........(Stephen County )
Although I'm originally I'm from Cadillac, Mi.
after our Mother died when I was 15.(1969)(gap) At 16 I jumped a freight train and rode out to So, California where I spent most of my life. 2 years ago I moved to Oklahoma because, I had a job offer and I was tired of the fast lane , I missed the farms and I'm not afraid to say that I've always been a redneck country boy.
I could write a book on my life after TCSH.
caged porches
....back then I believe they were refered to by staff and nurses as
"The Balcony"
Anyway, I don't think the caged porch 'per se' caused bad memories.
Have seen pictures of them? http://www.kirkbridebuildings.com/build ... sh_03.html
There are 3 porches there, you need to look close to see the small one on top...that's Hall 18.
One look at those can stir up many other bad memories for any one who spent time there. That was something that was seen daily and could not be ignored.
Standing behind that heavy guage steal mesh was like being locked up in a zoo.
They're like a symble or land mark that reminds you of everything else.
The were closed off in the winter.
I remember kids being locked out on the balcony in the winter time for not doing something right.
It's never happened to me, but if I'm not mistaken, Ronl has been lock out there.
Ronl can correct me if I'm wrong, but if my memory serves right, one winter there was a young boy locked out there for spitting out his late night medication. It was just past time for bed and the staff and nurses were changing shifts but the incoming shift was never informed. So this kid( Ithink his name was Daniel) was left out all night. In the morning when he was discovered, he had pneumonia and could hardly breath. After that, he disappeared and his name was never brought up again.
Even today, I look at those porches and it send a chill through my body
The cage was used as a form of punishment,
It was called a place for cry babies. Never
let them see you cry. I remember the cage as
a very cold place.
.
Tonight I was contacted by a writer who is going to help me write the book, "Where Buffalo Roam". More later on this.
.
I stayed up all night re-reading and looking at the old pictures, and yes my eyes at times were so full of water I could not see.
I still see the children lined up to go to the mess hall. I still hear their voices, and I can still feel the pain.
.
Tonight I was contacted by a writer who is going to help me write the book, "Where Buffalo Roam". More later on this.
.
I stayed up all night re-reading and looking at the old pictures, and yes my eyes at times were so full of water I could not see.
I still see the children lined up to go to the mess hall. I still hear their voices, and I can still feel the pain.